Angels & Sinners Demons & Saints
by JadeSiren
Summary: Meghan Josephine Jackson grew up with the Dixon boys and she spent a lot of time with them just trying to escape her abusive home life. Her father was the town preacher and her mother the town drunk so things at home were far from perfect but The Dixons looked out for her whenever they could. This is her story. Daryl/OC pairing.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead, Daryl, Walkers, Biters, Zombies, Starbucks or anything else you might now. I do own Meg, Allie, Adam and my netbook that they are written on :)**

**See Authors note at the end for other information.**

* * *

_The things I miss the most about how things used to be was getting dressed up and feeling like I was a desirable woman. I couldn't even remember the last time that I had even bothered to do anything with my hair besides toss it in a ponytail or bun let alone dye it so the grays this whole thing had given me were very pronounced and don't even get me started on my nails. They were short, ragged and no matter how hard I scrubbed I swear that there was always gun oil, gun powder, dirt and god knows what else embedded under them. _

_Good coffee. God, how I missed Starbucks, Daryl would always call it pretentious bullshit even after I got him hooked on double strength cafe Americano._

_Daryl. I've been thinking about him a lot lately, if anyone could survive the shit storm that was going on now it would be him. Hell, it was because of the stuff he and Merle taught me while we were growing up that I was even still alive and able to protect the people around me. If anyone had ever told me before that those trips in the woods were preparing me for the zombie apocalypse I would have laughed in their face. _

Meg closed her journal and clipped the pen to the front cover before standing up to start the day. Keeping a journal was an old habit from before the world went to shit that she found herself keeping. It was a little snippet of normalcy in an otherwise insane world. It was the little things like that she couldn't give up, there must have been at least 50 or so notebooks that she'd kept over the past three years full of thoughts, ideas, memories and sketches. Unfortunately most of them got left behind when her group had to vacate the church they had been using as a shelter when the food and medical supplies ran too low and the walkers got too close.

In a world where each day could be your last it was nice having something to leave behind for someone else to find and learn from. It also helped her remember who she used to be before all hell broke loose.

"Mama!"

She laughed as a blonde blue eyed bundle of energy tackled her as soon as she left her room. "Mornin', Alley Cat. Were you good for Miss. Jo?"

Her four year old daughter nodded as she leaned down to pick her up, "I missed you tucking me in though, Miss. Jo doesn't do the voices in my storybook like you do."

"The voices are kind of a mommy thing, kiddo." A voice came over her shoulder and ruffled Allison's hair while he hands Meg a cup of hot tea, "That's what make them so special. Sorry it's still not coffee but with fortifying the fence no one's had a chance to try and make a town run."

Taking a sip she sighed, "I miss milk and sugar. Real milk not powdered or canned."

"Maybe on your next hunting trip you'll find a cow that escaped from a farm, Mama."

"Maybe, but where would we keep a cow?"

"Adam could build a pen for it."

"I could, huh?"

"Adam can build or fix anything in the world."

Meg couldn't help but smile as her daughters blind faith in Adam, when they had met up with him two years ago she wrapped him around her finger within the first few minutes of meeting. Over the past couple of years Meg had become the leader of their small group and he had become her rock as well as moral compass. He's the one who helped not only raise Allie but kept Meg from going down a very dark path when her sister had died a few months ago.

He had kept her sane in an insane world.

He had helped a jaded preacher's daughter find faith again in a nearly godless world, was her best friend and loved her unconditionally.

Walking along with him to the communal area to meet the others for breakfast she looked at him from the corner of her eye and think, not for the first time, that she wished she could return his feelings. But if wishes were horse's beggars would ride.

All because she was still hung up on her daughter's father, a man who didn't even know he had a child because of her stubborn pride.

A man who she didn't even know if he was alive or dead but if money still meant anything in this world she would have bet everything that he was still alive and fighting.

"Mama?"

Meg turned her full attention to her daughter's bright blue eyes that were identical to Allison's father and smiled, "Yeah, baby?"

"Miss. Jo was telling me what Christmas used to be like before the walkers came. Do you think it'll ever be like that again?"

Her mind started racing to come up with something to say, she hadn't even realized that it was the middle of December and getting closer to Christmas. Before she had a chance though Adam, jumped in and saved the situation.

"Well, kiddo everything's going to be different. It's going to take a long time after the walkers are gone before anything is going to be considered normal. While Christmas may never be what it used to be it could end up being something so much better and more meaningful because of everything that we've all been through."

"Did kids really used to believe that an old fat man came down the chimney and leave gifts and that he did it all in one night?" She asks wrinkling her noise in distaste, "How stupid could you be?"

"Things were different before the walkers came, Alley cat. Even though we lived in some pretty violent times it was still a hell of a lot more innocent then what we live in now." Meg flicked her on the nose, "An' how did you get to be so cynical, Miss. Dixon?"

"I'm not 'nical, Mama." She looks confused, "What's 'nical mean?"

Adam reached over and lifted her out of Meg's arms and swung her onto his shoulders, "Something you are way too young to be!"

Her laughter echo's through the hallway as they walk ahead of Meg who ran the tips of her fingers over the wall like she did every morning as she followed them. When they had come to this country sheriff's station a year and a half ago it was only supposed to be for a night or two and that was only because she had fallen in the woods and broken her ankle. This was just supposed to be just a quick rest stop so she could be treated.

Fate works in weird ways sometimes.

If they hadn't been forced to stop because of her injury this goldmine never would have been explored and they never would have found out that it had been abandoned early in the outbreak.

In fact it looked like people just hadn't come to work that day and no one had thought to check it out at all since.

The weapons and evidence rooms were still fully stocked.

There was still food in the vending machines.

An emergency generator with enough fuel to last a few months.

And the makings of a fence, a beautiful fence, that could be built to keep the walkers out. A fence that took a lot of blood, sweat and tears to get built but they had done it.

Stopping in the doorway of the main room of the station she leaned against it and watched the people inside of it for a few minutes and couldn't help but smile. They had made this place a home and the people within it had become family.

It hadn't been easy and they had suffered their fair share of losses but had made it this far. And all of them would keep fighting until there was nothing left to fight for.

* * *

Mean while at a prison not as far away as you would think. . .

The picture he was looking at was old, faded, stained and had been torn in half and badly taped back together at one point but it was all he had left of her. Most of the time he was too busy just trying to survive and protect everyone around him to think about her but on nights like tonight where no matter how hard he tried he couldn't sleep that he'd take out this picture and look at it.

Meghan. God, how he missed that woman. The stupidest thing he ever did was leave her that morning and by the time he realized it things were too far gone. When the outbreak hit and they started evacuating Atlanta he went looking for her but she was gone, her apartment had been ransacked and there had been no sign of where she went.

A quiet fussing noise brought him out of his thoughts and he slid the picture back into the pocket over his heart where he kept it before getting up. On nights when he couldn't sleep he ended up getting up with his little ass-kicker and just telling her random stories about growing up, hunting, fights he had with Merle and even stories about Meg while he fed her and rocked her back to sleep.

"Hey, Little Ass Kicker. Ya hungry? Give Uncle Daryl a second to change your diaper an' get your bottle set up." He spoke softly as to not wake anyone up and quickly changed her diaper. Getting her settled in the crook of his arm he makes the bottle one handed and walks back over to the perch where he sleeps. Tossing a burp cloth over his shoulder he settle's back in against his pillow and blankets watching the baby contently eat and smiles, "Meggie Jo woulda loved you. She woulda been wrapped around your little finger the first moment she saw ya."

Judith fussed for a moment when he took the bottle out of her mouth and gently placed her against his shoulder to burp her. After a couple of minutes of him patting her back she lets out a soft burp and he settles her back into his arms to eat a little bit more.

"Did I ever tell ya about the time that damn woman got me to wear a tie? Felt like I was bein' strangled the whole damn night but the smile on her face more than made up for it. It was for a showin' she was havin' of some of her paintin's after she was in that art school of hers an' she was nervous as hell because of some fancy smancy art types judgin' her work an' tryin' to say she wasn't good enough to go to that school because she was so young.

Merle teased me somethin' awful when I left the apartment that night with my hair slicked back, brand new white shirt an' jeans along with that damned black noose 'round my neck. Had my truck freshly washed an' a bunch of her favorite wildflowers ready to go on the seat beside me all the while fiddlin' with that damned tie as I drove. I swore I was gonna rip it off as soon as she saw I was wearin' it an' all the high flauntin' types could screw off for all I cared.

Once I got there I had a hell of a time parkin' my truck because there were no spaces, I musta parked about 3 blocks away an' by the time I got there the tie was already half undone an' I was cussin' up a storm about it. Then I saw her pacin' back an' forth smokin' a cigarette wearin' this black dress an' heels that woulda brought the devil to his knees an' I just stopped dead.

There comes a time in every man's life, Little Ass-kicker, when he knows whether the woman he's with is the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with or not. It's not always a big dramatic moment sometimes it's somethin' small like knowin' that they were waitin' to go into their own party just so they could go in with you. I stood there watchin' Meggie Jo pace back an' forth lookin' at her watch as she smoked an' I knew at that moment I was gonna marry her.

I was gonna spend the rest of my life with her an' just thinking that made me smile so wide. It was then she turned 'round an' saw me, without a word she dropped her smoke, ran over an' kissed me like there was no tomorrow. One thing I always loved about that girl was she didn't have to fill up the silence with a bunch of foolish nonsense, she always did let her actions speak louder than her words."

The part of the story he wasn't telling was what happened when she saw the tie, the wicked grin and spark in her eyes. How she had grabbed him by that tie and pulled his head down so she could whisper in his ear, "Let's get the hell out of here, Dixie and make it a night to remember."

A flush started up the back of his neck at some of the images that had popped up into his brain from what had ended up being their first time together. Memories that he cherished but wasn't ready to revisit right now while feeding the baby.

Standing up he saw that she had fallen asleep while eating and he studied her for a few minutes while his mind went in a different direction. What if he hadn't left that morning? Would things have worked out between them? Would they have gotten married? Would they have had any kids by the time the outbreak happened?

Would he have been able to protect his family though everything that had happened?

He blinks away some sudden moisture from his eyes as he went over and placed Judith in her make shift crib. Running his finger along her cheek he knows he would have done anything to protect the family he would have had with Meg just like he was planning on doing anything he could to make sure that this little girl got to grow up.

Even if he died trying.

* * *

**Authors Note:**** This is also being posted over at Tumblr under Jade Siren as well. Any mistakes are my own as this is un-beta'd and sometimes things slip past me no matter how many times I read it over. **

**I can't remember where I read it or who came up with calling Daryl Dixie but I would like to credit them for it, lol.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Still don't own TWD or Daryl :( Maybe for my birthday in July, lol.**

**Authors note: After a certain point this whole thing is going to be AU. Also I wrote the the ZA had been going on for about 2 to 3 years but according *Spoiler Alert* last weeks episode it's only been about a year or so since Morgan saved Rick. So in my mind it's been going on for say a year and a half to two years. One day I will go back and fix the first chapter but not right now.**

**Again, this is un beated so all I ask is please be nice if you notice a mistake. Thank you.**

**Authors note part two: To the anon who left me a review saying my oc is anything but keep one things in mind, writers tend to write what they know. I grew up in an abusive home so I tend to write my oc's as ones who have overcome that upbringing like I have.**

**To my other reviewers I will be responding to your kind words in the next day or two. Thank you for all the wonderful favorites, adds and reviews. You guys are amazing!**

* * *

The heat of the hot Georgia sun beating down on Meghan's back was causing this annoying itch between her shoulder blades as sweat dripped down them and she was trying her damnedest to ignore it.

And failing miserably at it.

Normally she liked being on guard duty because it gave her a chance to think and collect her thoughts, with 15 people all living together in such a small space this was the only real time she got to herself but today she was antsy as hell. She was almost wishing for some walkers to appear just so she'd have something to do.

Almost.

She took off the baseball cap she was wearing and wiped the sweat off her forehead with her arm; even though it was only March it was as hot as Hell out. She pulled the string that was holding her hair in a pony tail and shook out the honey colored curls that fell to the middle of her back, with the damn humidity her thick hair was curling even more. She was really going to have to get Adam to cut it for her tonight before she took a knife to it out of pure frustration.

She had hated her curls for as long as she could remember, growing up her hair was always more of a hassle than anything else. As a kid she had begged her parents to let her get it cut short but they always said no because short hair wasn't feminine and she was a little girl even if she was always running off into the woods with Daryl and Merle. There were many a time she'd come home with leaves and twigs stuck in her hair and her sister would roll her eyes before spending ages trying to work out tangles and knots.

Meg started walking from one end of the roof to the other keeping an eye out for anything unusual or signs of walkers. She was running her fingers through her hair to get out any really bad tangles as she was braiding it and an old memory started to resurface making her smile.

_She was 14 and Daryl was 16 and he had gotten it into his head that she was going to learn how to shoot a bow. Merle had taught her how to shoot guns when she was 10 and even he admitted she was a natural when she took to it so quickly. So Meg was expecting to take to archery the same way._

_Boy was she wrong._

_By the end of the day she was flushed, frustrated, her arm hurt like crazy, she had a cut on her hand from an arrow tip and Daryl and she had gotten into a huge fight. She never even wanted to see a bow again let alone shoot one._

_Merle had come in part way through the lesson and had just hung back to watch for a while. Merle being Merle of course couldn't keep his mouth shut and had been egging on the two of them. After some of Merle's more colorful insults thrown at them Daryl had stormed off into the woods to cool down and Meghan started sulking on a tree stump._

"_Now, don't be sittin' there bein' like that, Angel. You can't be good at everythin' ya try."_

"_Daryl's too damn stubborn an' your mouth wasn't helpin' none so do everyone a favor an' just shut the hell up for once, Merle."_

"_You an' my baby brother were made for each other just make sure ya name the baby after me."_

_Meghan glanced over her shoulder and glared at him, "You're an asshole."_

"_This comin' from a preacher's daughter? Ya kiss your Mama with that mouth?"_

_Another glare thrown over her shoulder just made him laugh at her, "Ya got another few years before that look works on anyone an' it sure as hell won't ever work on me. Now, you'll never get anywhere shootin' a bow with this defeatist attitude."_

"_I don't wanna learn an' I don't know why Daryl is so insistent that I do. It's not like I'm ever gonna be in a situation where knowin' how to use a bow could mean life or death."_

_He reached over and gave one of her curls a playful tug, "It's not about life or death it's about my baby brother not havin' enough social skills to tell a pretty girl he likes her. He's teachin' ya so he can spend time with ya 'cause he knows your daddy ain't gonna let you date until you're older."_

"_But he an' I spend a lot of time together." She looks at Merle with a confused expression, "What do you mean a pretty girl he likes?"_

"_You're just as clueless as he is, Angel. My soft hearted baby brother has got it bad for you an' won't even look at another girl 'cause all he can see is a pair of deep brown eyes an' a mop of gold curls."_

"_Daryl likes me?" She snorted, "No, he doesn't."_

"_Yep, he does an' if I were you I'd go after him to talk about this before your friendship gets ruined over somethin' stupid like him teachin' ya how to shoot a bow."_

_She stood up and brushed her old jeans off, "He doesn't think of me like that, Merle, no guy does but you're right. I should go talk to him before he has a chance to stew over this fight too long."_

_Without waiting for him to respond Meg takes off into the woods after Daryl and heads to the one spot she knows he goes when he's upset, it was a small waterfall fed by a nearby stream that emptied into a pool. It was one of their favorite places to go swimming, hang out, cool off or sometimes hide at. Many a time one of them had found the other there nursing new injuries caused by the abuse they each suffered at home._

_Sure enough he was there standing on the edge of the swimming hole tossing rocks into it when she came up next to him, "Sorry about the stuff I said."_

_He shrugged and threw another rock._

"_I just got so frustrated because I can't seem to get the hang of what you're tryin' to teach me." She reached out and touched his arm, "We ok?"_

"_Yeah."_

_She smiled, "Merle has this crazy idea in his head that you're teaching me just so you can spend more time with me 'cause you like me."_

"_Course, I like ya. We've been friends for years, if I didn't we still wouldn't be hangin' out together."_

_Her smile faltered a little and she punched him on the arm. "Exactly. Merle's got no idea what he's talking about. You wanna get back while we still have daylight?"_

"_I was thinkin' of headin' back later or even tomorrow. It's a nice night to get a fire goin' and sleep outside." He tossed another rock into the water, "Merle's talkin' outta his ass like normal."_

_Meg turned away so Daryl couldn't see her disappointment, after talking to Merle she had let her hopes get up because she had a mad crush on Daryl for the past year. "I told him you don't see me like that, hell ain't none of the boys in school do either. I'm the daughter of the town drunk an' preacher, don't have perfect hair or big boobs an' I'm a good two inches taller than the boys in my class. I don't like gossip or make up an' I'm more at home here in the woods then a football game. Think I'm gonna head home, night Daryl."_

_A gentle tug on her ponytail stopped her before she could walk away and she felt the tie holding it in place being undone. Daryl started running his fingers through her hair and deftly braiding it, "I think your hair is amazin' an' it doesn't matter who your parents are, Meggie Jo, what matters is who you are. All that other stuff you said don't matter none to the people who really care about you."_

_When he had finished the braid she turned around and wrapped her arms around his waist. The top of her head came to just under his chin, "Thanks, Dixie. You always know just what to say to make me feel better."_

_It took a moment for him to return the hug since he wasn't usually an affectionate person so she was very surprised when he placed his chin on her head and didn't let go after a second like he normally did. In fact if anything he seemed to hold her even tighter._

"_You wanna camp out with me tonight? I can catch us some fish or somethin' for dinner an' we can sleep out under the stars."_

"_Sounds nice but I'm not sure if that's a good idea."_

"_How come?"_

"_School in the morning, remember? That place we're stuck going to during the week for torture? Sound familer?"_

_His laugh rumbled pleasantly in his chest against her ear, "We'll cut an' not like our parents will miss us anyway."_

"_Ok. Sounds fun." She starts to pull away but his arms tighten even more around her. "Daryl, everything ok?"_

"_Yeah. Just got somethin' on my mind that I'm not too sure about bringin' up to ya 'cause I'm not sure how you'll react."_

"_You know you can tell me anythin' an' I'll listen."_

_He took a deep breath and held it for a second, "Merle was. . . .not wrong with what he said 'bout why I wanted to teach ya how to shoot a bow."_

"_Don't be teasin' me, Daryl." _

"_Meggie Jo. . . . Meghan, I like you. I wanna spend all the time with you that I can an' when your Daddy lets you start datin' I want you to be my girlfriend."_

"_You sure about that?"_

_He dropped a light kiss on the top of her head before he pulled away to look down at her, "Very."_

_She stood on her tip toes and shyly pressed her lips against his for a second, "I'd like that a lot, Daryl."_

Someone calling her name from the ground below quickly brought her back to the present, she went over to the edge of the roof and looked down to see Adam with a couple of the other guys from the group smiling and waving around some fish they had caught.

"Hey, looks like ya'll had a productive fishin' trip. Send someone up to take over an' I'll help ya'll clean 'em."

"We've got it covered but I gotta talk to you about something so I'm coming up." Adam called out, "Be there in a second."

"Okay!"

While waiting for him she takes a last circuit around the roof just to make sure everything around and outside of the fence was ok. Everything was fine for the moment so she went to sit in the corner where there was a little bit of shade and slips her cap back on.

"We might have a problem." Adam started as soon as the roof door opens, "You know the old Georgia state prison about 15 miles out? There's vehicles, bunch of the walkers have been cleaned out and it looks like people are there."

"An' this is a problem how?"

"Possible hostiles."

"Or just people like us who need a spot to rest for a bit." She commented squinting up at him, "Have a seat or get the hell out of the sun so I can look at you without the sun in my eyes, will ya?"

"Jackson, we have to take this seriously. I don't want another situation like we had at Woodbury; we need to know what these people's motives are."

"I am taking it seriously, Adam. The prison is a decent distance away an' I highly doubt that we'll ever run into these people unless we come across them while huntin' or travelin', I mean the only way you knew about them was because you were fishin' at the old lake around there, right?" She sighed and leaned her head back, "I don't want another run in like I had with the Governor either so that's why I just wanna leave these people alone."

"And if they come across us?"

"We'll prepare for a hostile encounter so we're ready an' increase the guards around the fence so we have a heads up in case any strangers show up but I don't wanna go lookin' for trouble. Sound fair?"

He nods but doesn't look happy about it, "I guess. Maybe we should go introduce ourselves let them know we won't take any shit."

"No. I won't have you rilin' up a hornets' nest; as long as they don't go startin' anythin' we're gonna leave them by themselves, alright?"

"You know your north Georgia twang comes out more when you get frustrated with me." He teased her, "It's kinda sexy."

Meghan rolled her eyes, "We've talked about this."

"Hey, can't blame a guy for trying, can ya?"

She stands up and smacks him on the back of the head none too gently, "I'm gonna go see if any of my traps caught anythin'. Keep an eye on things here?"

"Always. Who are you taking with you?"

"I was thinkin' about Mark, he hasn't been out since we lost Sarah an' I think it might do him good."

"Might do you good if you talk about losing her with him, he lost a wife but you lost your sister too."

An extended middle finger was the only indication she gave that she heard him as she walked through the door.

Meanwhile at the Prison-

"I know what I saw, Rick. It was a group of at least 6 guys at the pond and they were talking about their camp. They were pretty heavily armed; we should keep an eye on things in case they come back around."

"They might just be passing through, Glenn. Did any of them say how far away their camp was?"

"A few miles to the north, I'm telling you, Rick I got a bad feeling from these guys. I think we should increase patrols around the area and maybe even go check out this camp of theirs."

"I'll talk to Daryl to see if he can find it so I can look things over." Rick said standing up and putting a hand on Glen's shoulder, "You did good bringing this to me. I will not have another Woodbury situation."

"What do ya mean another Woodbury situation?" Daryl asked as he tossed his crossbow on the table as he entered the room, "What's goin' on?"

"Glen saw a group of guys at the pond before, they seemed pretty well armed from what he said and they were talking about a camp of theirs a few miles away. I'd like for you to check it out just to make sure that things are ok."

"I'll check the pond out an' see if I can find anythin' about where they came from. What type of fire power did they have?"

"Shotguns, assault rifles and handguns are just what I saw, who knows what else they may have."

"Any chance they were just passin' through?"

Glen shook his head, "From the sound of it they seemed pretty well established, I heard them saying that they had to make a run to the "usual" places for a list of supplies they got from Jackson."

Daryl went over to the pot and grabbed himself a bowl of oatmeal, "I'll check out the pond for some clues before I make a town run. Carol said we need some formula an' diapers so we're gonna go grab 'em in a bit."

"Thanks, Daryl. I knew I could count on you."

He simply nodded and turned his attention to his lunch while Rick and Glenn continued to talk.

It would be nice if things started going the right way for the group and if they could just have a couple of days without worrying about not only the dead but the living coming after them it would be a plus.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Still don't own TWD or Daryl. -Pouts-**

**Authors Note: Just so you know we are heading into AU turf with this story very soon. I will do my best to keep everyone as canon as possible but situations will change to suit my muse.**

**Thanks to everyone for your wonderful reviews, follows, favorites and kind words, they really do make writing this worthwhile. I will reply to them all as soon as I'm done posting this.**

**Special shout out to FanFicGirl10 because she's awesome and her reviews make my day!**

* * *

Meghan stared out the window of the room she shared with her daughter an open notebook in front of her while she tapped the pen against it. She ran hair fingers through her freshly cut hair that Adam had done for her, now instead of it going halfway down her back it just barely brushed her shoulders. It was much easier to care for and she thought it looked cute. With a small sigh she put the point of the pen to paper and started writing.

_Allie has been asking a lot of questions about her father the past couple of months and I'm not sure what to say, I mean I don't even know if he's alive or dead. I hope and pray every day that he was alive and fighting out there somewhere but in this world hope got you jack and prayer got you shit._

_Should I tell her that he was my childhood sweetheart who I left when he hit me? Or that we met again a few years later and grew closer than before? That I fell in love with him all over again but he left before I even woke up one morning? That when I found out I was pregnant with her I could even tell him because of my damn pride? I wanted him to be with me because he wanted too not because he felt he had to be. And if he had known about her we would have been married quicker than you could say shotgun wedding._

_I didn't want to end up in a loveless marriage like my parents had, only together because of the children._

_Daryl would have loved her so much though and would have wanted to do right by his daughter._

_And so help me I still loved him with everything I had, there hadn't ever been anyone else but him from the time I was 14._

_God, I hope he was still alive._

She laid the pen down and leaned back against the wall letting her gaze fall on Allison. Daryl was alive in that girl who was so much like him in so many ways, every time she looked into Allie's eyes she saw him, every time she smiled it was his infectious smile, she had his stubborn sense of right and wrong and boy, did she have his temper.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out an old Polaroid picture, it had been taken when she had been 18 and Daryl 20 and was by far her favorite one of the two of them together. Merle had snuck into his brother's room and snapped this while the two of them were sleeping. Daryl looked so peaceful and carefree while he slept and the light from the open window picked out lighter shades of blonde in his light brown hair. He held her close with her head tucked under his chin and arm wrapped around her waist protectively, while they slept he had always held her as close as possible he hated having any space between them in bed. It was like he was afraid someone would come and steal her away in the night or like he couldn't believe she was there so he had to hold her close to prove to himself she was real.

"Mama, what's that?" a sleepy voice asked.

Meghan slipped it back into her pocket, she'd tell Allie about Daryl one day soon just not right now. "An old picture, Allie Cat. Did I wake you?"

"No, I got scared in my sleep so I woke up."

She slipped her arms around her and pulled her close so she could start stroking her hair, "Wanna talk about it?"

"I dreamed that you went on a hunting trip and never came back, I was all alone and scared because I didn't have anyone left to take care of me." Tears started flowing down her face and she started whimpering, "I didn't know if you were alive or a walker who was gonna come back and bite me."

Those words broke her mother's heart, a child this young shouldn't have to live in fear she was going to lose her mother or that she would come back as a walker to hurt her. Not for the first time, Meghan inwardly cursed out God and whoever else was involved with this outbreak. She leaned her cheek against her head while contemplating what to say next, "I can't promise nothin's ever going to happen to me, Allison. We live in a time that is very uncertain. . . . Life is very different then is used to be an' I won't make empty promises to you but I can promise that if somethin' does happen to me you WILL be taken care of. Adam an' I talked about this a year or so ago, he will take care of you no matter what an' if he can't Miss. Jo will so would anyone else here. You will never be alone as long as any of us draw breath."

"What if you get bit? Would you come after me?"

"What's rule number 1, kiddo?"

"We don't go off by ourselves; we always go out in groups of two or more."

"Rule number 2?"

"We don't let our own turn."

"Exactly. I don't go out huntin' by myself an' we've all promised each other if one of us gets bitten someone will do what needs to be done." She kissed the top of her head, "You're as safe as I can make you, baby girl. I wish you could have had part of the childhood I had, running around the woods with your Daddy an' your Uncle were some of the best times of my life."

"You knew my Daddy when you were a kid?"

Meghan cursed inwardly at the can of worms she just unthinkingly opened with that statement, "Yeah. We grew up together."

"Why don't you ever talk about him? Didn't you love him?"

Damn it, these were some of the questions that she had been hoping to avoid, "I loved him very much, in fact I still do, an' I don't talk about him because it hurts too much."

"Why?"

As much as she hated to it was time to tell a little white lie. "We had a fallin' out before I found out I was pregnant with you an' I couldn't find a way to contact him afterwards. Now I don't know if he's alive or not but I can tell you this, he would have loved you very, very much."

"Really?"

Meghan lays her back down on the bed and lies down next to her, pulling the blanket over the both of them. She turned on her side and faced Allie, "Close your eyes, Baby girl an' I'll tell you a story. I was workin' as a waitress at this crappy dinner in Atlanta while waiting for my art career to take off, a real greasy spoon type of place, but they had the best coffee an' pecan pie in the world. I had the overnight shift most nights an' I hated it because it was mainly drunks we got in an' the tips were absolute crap, now normally there were three of us working two waitresses an' a cook but that night it was just me an' Raul, the cook.

That night was slower than normal so Raul an' I were playing blackjack for pennies between customers, I was up about 2 bucks, when the bell rang letting us know someone had come in. I called out for them to seat themselves an' that I'd be right there."

"I thought you worked in a tattoo shop." She yawned as her eyes started drifting closed.

Meghan reached out and brushed some hair out of her daughter's face, "I did that too, I had a lot of odd jobs to try an' make ends meet in those days. Waitress, tattoo artist, bartender as well as trying to sell my work. Did a little bit of modelin' too for a friends clothin' line."

She leaned over and kissed her sleeping child's forehead before laying down on her back, "Nighty night, my little love."

As she lay there staring up at the ceiling waiting for sleep to claim her her mind drifted back to the story she had just been telling. The story of how Daryl Dixon had walked right back into her life one rainy Georgia night.

_It was storming like crazy so the diner was more dead then usual so to keep themselves awake she and the cook were playing cards. Raul had just dealt another hand of blackjack when they both heard the bell on the door announcing the arrival of a customer, as she put down her bet of 5 cents she called out._

"_Be with ya'll in a second. Have a seat wherever you'd like, we just put on a fresh pot of coffee so it's gonna be a couple for that."_

_She held up her hand after she looked at her cards as a signal that she wanted to stay before grabbing a couple of menu's and slipping off her seat at the counter. She grinned and winked at the cook, "No peekin' at my hand now, ya hear me?"_

"_Aw, M.J., how else am I gonna win back my two bucks?"_

_Meghan stuck her tongue out and turned to see where her customers were sitting, turned out it was only one person and he was sitting on a booth in the corner with his head down covered by a hood, shoulders slumped and dripping wet. Everything about the poor guys body language screamed defeat. She tossed one of the menus back on the counter and grabbed the towel that was sitting there before walking over._

"_Welcome to Ray's. You look like you need this." She held out the towel and menu to him, "My names M.J. an' like I said before coffee will be ready in a couple of minutes."_

_He reached out without looking and grabbed the towel, "M.J., huh?"_

"_Yep, our specials tonight are meatloaf, chicken fried steak an' chili with cornbread. All of it sucks but the pecan, peach an' apple pies are the best ya'll ever have." She tilted her head to the side, something about this guy reminded her of Daryl and it hurt. She still wasn't over him even after four years and as she watched him dry his hands she went with her gut like Merle had always taught her too, "I know this is a long shot an' I might be makin' a fool out of myself but. . . . Daryl?"_

_He slipped off his hood and started wiping his face off, "Hey, Meggie Jo." _

_Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him, his amazing blue eyes had dark circles and bags under them and he looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. "Hey, what brings ya out on a night like this?"_

"_Merle went an' got himself arrested so I'm waitin' to see what their gonna set bail for at the hearin' in the mornin'."_

"_Damn. Dealin', drunk an' disordly, assault, stealin' or somethin' else?" _

_He started drying his hair, "He was drunk an' tryin' to steal a car. He also resisted arrest an' had some other stuff on him." _

"_What time is the hearin'?"_

"_Ten thirty."_

_She was already mentally rearranging her schedule for the next day, "I don't have to be at my other job until after two so we'll be good there."_

"_What?"_

"_I'm goin'."_

"_No, you're not."_

"_I'm gonna grab some coffee an' then I'm gonna sit down for us to talk, Daryl but there is no way in hell I'm not goin'. Merle is my family too an' I wanna help him out."_

_He looked up at her his temper starting to get the best of him as he snapped, "Like you've been there to help him out the past four years?"_

"_Listen, Dixon, don't you even think of questionin' my loyalty to Merle. You know nothing about what has been going on for the past few years or who I've been hangin' out with, I left you not Merle." She crossed her arms over her chest and tried to keep her own temper under control, "If you really wanna know he an' I have stayed in contact, an' I asked him not to tell you."_

"_Why the fuck would you do that?" _

"_Because I couldn't let myself get pulled back in, I grew with an addict for a parent an' I sure as hell wasn't going to subject my kids to the same kind of abusive upbringing I had. I knew that if I was around you I wouldn't be able to not be with you." Her voice started cracking as she fought her tears, she would not let Daryl see her cry and know how much leaving him still hurt even after all this time. She turned around and quickly walked over to the counter, "Goin' on break, toss me my smokes."_

_Raul reached under the counter and pulled out her cigarettes, he handed them over to her. "Need help with that guy, M.J.?"_

_She shook her head, "Just someone I used to know. I'll be back in a few."_

_With that she went into the kitchen and out the back way to smoke in the alley by the dumpster. She was going to get soaked but right now she didn't care she just wanted to get her emotions under control before going back in and talking to Daryl about Merles bail hearing in the morning. For the first time she was thankful that she had to wear a stupid yellow uniform at work because that meant she had a set of dry clothes back in the office to change into._

_She lit her menthol by the open door and stepped outside under the protection the meager overhang provided, it wasn't enough to keep her dry but it was enough to keep her smoke from getting wet and going out._

A soft snore broke her out of her thoughts and she looked down at her daughter, Allison was the one thing she would always be grateful to Daryl for. Without her Meghan would have long since put a gun to her own head and pulled the trigger.

Allie was her everything and she would do whatever she had to so she would be safe and have a chance to grow up.

That was a promise she could make to both her daughter and to Daryl. Their child would grow up strong, loved and nothing at all like the way they had been raised; she was the best of both of them.

And come hell or high water she would live a long life even if it cost Meghan her own.

* * *

Earlier that day about 5 miles away from the Sheriff's station-

One of the things he loved most about being in the woods was the chance to be alone with his thoughts, something he hadn't had much a chance to do since this whole thing started. Sometimes being around everyone when they were all chattering like chipmunks made him want to just scream at them to shut the fuck up. So when that happened he grabbed his crossbow and went out hunting.

Like today.

Rick and Glenn were obsessing about this group of people that had been seen fishing at the pond last week and they wanted him to track down their camp to make sure they weren't a threat. That he had no problem doing but he was going to do it his way and he wanted to see if they were even going to come back around first. He had checked out the area and except for some trampled grass, lost hooks and a tangle of fishing line there hadn't been a sign of them or where they went. He told Rick that he wanted to wait to see if they came back before possibly starting trouble with another group.

Rick didn't quite see it his way and part of Daryl could see where he was coming from because none of them wanted to have to deal with another situation like Woodbury or the Governor.

But you couldn't just go assuming everyone out there was going to be an asshole like that, there were people out there trying to survive just like they were.

He really did hate being the only one Zen in the group.

The sound of a twig breaking to his left had him swinging his crossbow up to his shoulder and twisting in that direction, once he saw the rabbit he let the arrow fly. That was the third one he'd managed to get today so they'd be eating good tonight. He leaned down to pick it up and was pleasantly surprised to see a heavily laden blueberry bush; he slipped off his poncho to use for a tarp and started shaking the bush to get the ripe berries.

He popped one in his mouth and took a moment to savor the flavor as it exploded on his tongue the burst of tartness followed by a soothing balm of sweetness was a little piece of heaven.

Damn, they'd be eating really good tonight.

Gathering up the corners of the poncho he tied it up and attached it to his belt along with the rabbit. He'd skin and gut them when he got back to the prison; maybe get them going on a spit to get them all nice and roasted. If he was lucky enough he might come across some wild onions or carrots to make with them. He could almost taste the tender meat and feel the rabbit grease running down his chin.

He notched another arrow in his bow and slung it over his shoulder as he started back towards his bike whistling softly as he walked. It had been a while since a hunting trip had been this productive or relaxing and it had been a long time since he just let himself enjoy how nice the day was. It was sunny, warm and so far walker free, it was going to take a lot to spoil this good mood of his.

Meggie Jo loved days like this and being out in the woods with him. There were many a time the two of them would just hop in his truck and go camping with only one bag between them and one sleeping bag to share. Some of his best memories of his girl were from those trips, watching her sketch by the fire, skinny dipping in streams and ponds, making love under the stars and just holding her close while they slept.

He'd been thinking about her more and more lately, every little thing seemed to remind him of her and it hurt like hell at first but he had just started rolling with it. He'd be lying if he said he didn't hope that she was alive and well somewhere, god knows she had the skills to survive in this crazy new world of theirs, but he was a realist above everything else.

He and Merle had taught her everything they knew about tracking and survival when she was growing up but if she had still been alive he knew that no matter what had happened between the two of them she would have come to him or Merle when everything started.

Merle in all his end of the world paranoia had made sure that the people he cared about knew that if the shit hit the fan you meet up and stay together. He was pretty sure that his brother had been just as upset as he had been when they found her apartment empty, if not more so.

She may have been the love of Daryl's life but to Merle she was his Angel and nothing would ever change that. She'd been that ever since the day that his older brother had found a battered and bruised 8 year old in the woods crying into the fur of a dead rabbit, even severely beaten and nursing a broken wrist she cared more about a rabbit that was dead in a trap then she did about her own pain. He never told Daryl what made him decide to take her under his wing and start treating her like a little sister no matter how many times he asked.

That was just one of those things that only his older brother would ever know he guessed.

Merle was the meanest, toughest son of a bitch you'd ever hope to meet but something about that girl brought out a slightly softer side to him.

There had also been something about her that had brought out the best in him; it was too bad that it took losing her for him to realize it. He had been lucky enough to get a second chance with her but he had completely blown it because of his insecurities.

When he had first seen her a few years after they had broken up he wasn't exactly in the best frame of mind, Merle had just been arrested and he had walked into an all night diner to wait until the bail hearing in the morning.

Imagine his surprise when his waitress had been Meghan.

He had been stupid and took his frustration at Merles situation and the pain he felt about seeing her again out on her in a bad way. He ended up snapping at her really bad when she said that she wanted to go to his brothers bail hearing.

In all honesty he had been a total dick.

He shook his head to clear it once he got to his bike, it wouldn't do any good to get lost in his memories and re open old painful wounds.

He had his people to provide for right now and that's what he would do. There was nothing he could do about the past but he could damn well make sure that his new family was taken care of.

And that's just what he was gonna do.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Still don't own it. Damn!**

**Author's note (Copy and pasted from my Tumblr because I'm lazy tonight):**

**The new chapter is up and I'm prepared for the hate, lol. This one had to happen for the story to progress and I'm not sorry for what I wrote. Any feedback is welcome.**

**Thank you**

**I will also be responding to your reviews after I post this, as always this is un-beta'd so any and all mistakes are my own. Please be nice when pointing them out to me.**

* * *

"She's pretty. What's her name?'

Daryl slipped the photo back into his pocket before looking up at Carol, if it had been anyone else asking him he would have either ignored them or said it was none of their business but she was different. "Meghan."

She sat down next to him on his blankets, "Is she the one you sometimes tell Judith stories about at night when you think everyone's asleep?"

He looked down at his hands and hoped the flush creeping up his neck wasn't noticeable in the faint light coming in through the window. "You the only one heard me talkin' to her?"

"I haven't been sleeping well lately so I think so." She smiled, "She meant a lot to you, huh?"

"I was gonna settle down with her, get married an' have a couple little rugrats runnin' 'round."

"What happened to her?"

"We broke up an' I fucked up my second chance with her so I don't know, she's got the skills to survive if she's still alive but with everythin' that's happened I reckon she's gone." He started rubbing his right wrist with his left hand; it was an old nervous tic of his that has resurfaced in the past few months and he didn't even realize he was doing it until Carol laid her hand on his.

"You still love her."

It was the way she said it, not as a question but as a simple statement of fact in a hurt tone that made him feel a deep sense of regret. He had known for a while that Carol had started to have feelings that were more than friendship towards him but he just couldn't feel the same way. He would always care for her the way he cared about Maggie, Beth or anyone else in the group but even after all this time Meghan would always come first in his heart.

"Have since I was 15. Me an' her had similar home lives an' we just understood each other, many a time we'd just sit out in the woods without talkin' an' somehow things would feel better even it was for just a few hours. "

"Sounds really nice, Daryl. Why did you break up with her if you were so happy?"

He moved his hand away from hers and looked over, "I ain't never said I broke up with her, in fact she left me but she was right to."

"What happened?"

He shook his head, "Not somethin' I'm real proud of so I don't talk about it."

"You can tell me anything, Daryl and it won't change the way I feel about you. After some of the choices I've made in my own life I'm not one to judge anyone else for theirs."

"Believe me, Carol, I've judged myself more than enough for what I did. If I hadn't fucked up Meggie Jo an' I woulda been married, we coulda had a few great years before the shit hit the fan." He quickly stood up and started pacing back, he didn't know why he was feeling so agitated by this talk but he felt like he was ready to jump out of his skin. It was probably a combination of never having talked about this before, thinking about her more often than ever, Carol's unwavering faith in him and stress. Before he knew it the words were pouring out of him.

"We had been dating officially since she was sixteen and her daddy said she could date but had really been together since she was fourteen and me sixteen. Now, one thing that you gotta know about her is that she was a really talented artist; she was so good that The Atlanta School of Art offered her a full scholarship with early admission when she was seventeen, she didn't wanna go but I insisted. I wasn't gonna let her give up the opportunity to make something of herself because she was afraid of losin' me. Took a while but I convinced her I wasn't gonna go anywhere.

That girl was stuck with me like I was stuck with her an' neither of us was gonna have it any other way.

Anyway, after 'bout a year of me going to Atlanta an' her coming back home almost every weekend we decided that it was time to take the next step in our relationship."

"You got engaged?" Carol asked when he paused for breath.

"I had bought the ring an' was just waitin' for the right time but no we didn't. Ya see, her parents didn't have the greatest marriage an' she was terrified ours would end up the same way. Both of us hatin' on each other an' only stayin' together for the kids. No matter how many times I told her it wasn't gonna happen like that she wouldn't believe me.

We talked an' figured out it made more sense for me to move to Atlanta where we'd get our own place. Her Daddy was the town preacher an' pretty much disowned her when we told him, he said that no daughter of his was gonna live in sin with a no good louse who couldn't provide for her. An' if we moved in together she wasn't a member of that family anymore, it was either me or them.

I was so proud when she stood up to him an' said that I could provide better for her then he ever did an' that she would choose me a million times over before she chose them. That at least I didn't beat on her when I was drunk or tried to whip the devil out of her with a belt when we fought.

That they might be her blood but Merle an' me were her real family an' if they couldn't accept her choices she was glad to be rid of them."

"Wait just a second. She and your brother got along?"

Daryl couldn't help but chuckle at the disbelief in her voice, "Not just get along but Merle adored her, had ever since he found her in the woods one day with a busted wrist after a bad beatin' by her Mom. From that moment on she was his Angel an' he decided he was gonna teach her everything he knew 'bout huntin', trackin' an' survival. He did his damndest to make sure that she would survive anything that the world could throw at her.

He taught her how to defend herself because he wasn't gonna let her become a victim. Nobody but nobody was gonna to hurt his Angel if he had anythin' to say about it. It damn nearly killed him every time he saw her after her parents got done beatin' on her."

"I really can't picture Merle being like that with anyone."

"I know but somethin' 'about that girl brought it out in him an' I ain't ever figured out how or why. She felt the same about him, nobody had better say nothin' bad 'bout him to her or there was gonna be hell to pay."

He paused to take a breath and stopped pacing long enough to look at Carol; he wanted to see the expression on her face while he told the next part of his story. He had to convince her that he wasn't the man she thought he was.

"Anyway, we found this cheap place not far from the garage I started workin' at above this all night Laundromat. It was a dump an' small as hell, the bathroom was the size of a closet an' the bedroom barely had room for a bed an' dresser, but it was ours. The guy who owned it didn't really care what we did to it just as long as we didn't destroy the place so we fixed it up real homey like. We painted it an' she did these amazing murals on some of the walls while I fixed up what was broken around the place.

Took us a while but by the time we were done it was home. . . .And I had gotten her to say she'd marry me. I was the happiest I had ever been in my life an' thought that nothing could ever change that."

He had to stop and close his eyes for a second before he could continue, the pain that talking about this caused made him want to curl up in a ball but he wouldn't show it. He jerked away slightly in surprise when he felt a warm hand on his cheek, he reached up and grabbed her wrist to pull it away as he opened his eyes. Staring down into her eyes he started talking again as he pushed away her hand and dropped it.

"I ain't no saint, Carol. I got a horrible fuckin' temper an' I was jealous as all hell when it came to my girl. I wanted to kick the shit out of any other guy that looked at or touched Meggie Jo; she was mine an' only mine. That never caused problems until one of the advisors at her school started paying a little too much attention to her, he kept sayin' that he only wanted to help her get her career going but I saw the way he looked at her. . . .Like a stray dog eyein' up a big ol' piece of meat. I tried talkin' to her about it but she didn't see it, she never could believe that anyone, including me could see her like that.

He kept settin' up these private meetin's for her almost every night an' we fought 'bout it a lot, I hardly ever got to see her anymore. I knew she would never cheat on me but knowin' that someone was tryin' to put the moves on my girl drove me up the fuckin' wall.

It all came to a head the night of our anniversary, I had a whole weekend trip planned just the two of us we were gonna go campin' at the special spot we had discovered a while back. It was just gonna be me an' her under the stars alone without any interruptions for two amazin' days. I was gonna surprise her by pickin' her up after another of those damn meetin's so we could just go, had our bags packed an' everythin' in my truck so we didn't even have to stop back at the apartment.

When I pulled into the parkin' lot I saw him helpin' her into his car an' I saw red, I couldn't believe that she would go off with that guy knowin' the way I felt about him. I didn't even think as I pulled out of the lot an' ended up in front of some dive bar. I was startin' to lose my temper an' didn't wanna talk to her until I cooled down a bit so I figured I'd go in for a drink or two.

If I had known what was gonna happen I woulda just turned 'round an' headed home to wait for her.

When I opened the door the glove box popped open like it did sometimes, kept meanin' to fix it but just never got around to it, an' a little plastic baggie of pink pills fell out. Merle had given them to Meghan last time he was visitin', she had been havin' really bad panic attacks ever since she was young an' the only thing that ever worked for them was Xanax but the Doctor refused to prescribe them for her anymore because she had started showing signs of bein' addicted to them before movin' away from home. The first time she came back for a visit she got into it with her sister over somethin' an' she had one so bad while she was drivin' she went off the road an' flipped her car. Even though her car was totaled she only ended up with some cuts an' a few broken ribs.

Once Merle found out what happened an' why she wrecked her car he always made sure she had a supply of Xanax no matter what.

Without thinkin' I grabbed it, opened it an' took two of them. I knew they calmed her down pretty quick an' that's what I was lookin' for so we wouldn't get into a fight when I got home, I didn't wanna lose her because I said somethin' in the heat of the moment.

Last thing I clearly remember was sitting down at the bar with a shot an' a beer after that everythin' was blurry until the next mornin' when Merle was shakin' me awake screamin' that he was gonna beat the shit out of me for what I did."

At this point Daryl had to stop for a few minutes to compose himself, the things he was about to tell Carol were things that he never told anyone else before and couldn't forgive himself for either.

"Daryl, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"Yeah, I do. You need to understand that I'm not the person you think I am, I'm not a good man an' you need to know that, Carol."

"You are a good, kind and decent man. The world needs more men like you, now more than ever and what you did in the past is just that. . . . In the past and you have to forgive yourself because you are no longer the person you were." She came up next to him and stood there as if to lend him her strength, "There is nothing you could have done in your past that will ever change how much. . . . I care about you."

"I beat the shit out of her an' caused her to lose our baby. I didn't even know she was pregnant until Merle told me while he was packin' up her stuff, he was rantin' about what an idiot I was an' if I came near her until she was better he would kick my ass. I was still just tryin' to process the fact he was there an' the poundin' in my head was makin' it hard for me to do that, I remember lookin' down at my hands an' bein' shocked at how bruised an' bloody they were.

It was only when I started to realize what I did I felt sick to my stomach an' it had nothin' to do with drinkin' the night before. I did the one thing I promised her I was never gonna do an' it was all because I was stupid enough to take some fuckin' pills an' get drunk. Merle was there 'cause she had called him all hysterical beggin' him to come get her 'cause she was terrified I was gonna kill her.

It was only after he left that I got up out of bed an' started lookin' around the apartment, it looked like a train had run through it. Place was completely trashed, holes in the wall, busted furniture, busted glass and what looked like blood on some of the walls. Seein' that had me runnin' to the bathroom to puke but it wasn't any better in there, the mirror was broken and the sink cracked but what got me the most was the puddle of blood in the tub where the phone had been dropped an' the busted lock on the door.

That's what did me in. The busted lock on the door, she felt she had to hide from me 'cause she didn't feel safe. I swore to her years before that she would always be safe around me an' no matter how mad I got I would never raise a hand to her or our kids.

We'd been talkin' 'bout startin' a family after we got married, yeah we were young but we had been together for so long that it just felt right for us. She stopped takin' her pills an' the doctors said it would be a while before she's get pregnant because she'd been on them so long but if what Merle had said had been true. . . .I killed our baby."

His voice cracked and he blinked his eyes a couple of times to keep his tears from falling, even after all this time the pain of it was still as fresh as it was that morning.

"I spent the next couple of days fixin' up the apartment just tryin' to keep busy an' keep my mind off things. Merle refused to tell me anything an' every hospital I called had no record of her bein' admitted it was tearin' me up inside that I couldn't go see how she was doin'. I knew I couldn't make things right between us right off but I was willin' to do anythin' so I didn't lose her. I just kept mentally beatin' myself up for being so stupid, I had sworn to myself that I was never gonna be like my Dad but in one moment I was just like him.

I kept tellin' myself that when I saw her we'd be able to work things out an' we could start over but I was wrong.

I make one fuckin' stupid mistake an' it cost me my whole world."

Carol didn't say anything; she just laid her hand on his cheek and gently turned his face towards hers. She looked into his eyes and smiled before her lips touched his in a comforting and loving kiss.

Daryl jerked back like someone punched him in the stomach; he didn't want to hurt her but this felt wrong.

"I can't. I ain't ever kissed anyone but her. . . . Carol, I'm sorry, feels like I'm fuckin' cheatin' and the one thing I ain't never done is cheat."

"Daryl, you said yourself that she's most likely gone. You need to stop living in the past and live in the now, you also need to ask yourself would Meghan have wanted you to spend the rest of your life pinning after her? Or would she have wanted you to try and grab a little bit of happiness for yourself in a world where tomorrow isn't a guarantee?"

He was silent for a minute as he thought about what she was saying; Meghan would have wanted him to be happy no matter what. With a sigh he turned and picked up his crossbow, "I just can't without knowin' one way or another. I still carry 'round her picture an' the ring I gave her because a part of me refuses to give up hope, it might be getting' smaller an' smaller everyday but it's still there."

"I understand but just know I will be here if you want to take a chance on a new start."

"I'm gonna go clear out some walkers. Later, Carol."

With that Carol watched him walk away with heaviness in her heart, Daryl had his code and refused to stray from it no matter what. While the world needed men like that it didn't mean it wasn't frustrating as hell to deal with when you cared about someone as much as she did him.

He wanted to run as fast as his legs could carry him but he forced himself to move normally so nobody would bother him on his way to the tombs. Between talking about what happened with Meghan and Carol kissing him he was wound tighter then his crossbow and he didn't want to lose it on anyone.

Only once he was behind closed doors did he allow himself to break.

Over and over he started punching the wall as tears started streaming down his face. With each punch he felt the skin on his knuckles start to tear and before too long there were two red smears on the wall.

Old insults his father used to fling at him during beatings started flying from his mouth with each punch that landed.

"Useless fuckin' idiot can't do anything right."

"Waste of space who never shoulda been born. You're just gonna fuck everythin' up; you don't deserve to be happy. Nobody's ever gonna love you or want you around."

This continued on until he couldn't feel his hands anymore and his anger was completely spent.

If only the raw pain he felt in his heart was so easily dealt with.

Leaning his head on the cool stone of the wall he puts his hands on it while memories start flooding his brain.

_He was in the bathroom shaving wearing just a pair of jeans low around his hips when he heard the front door open and close, thinking it was his brother he called out._

"_Merle, unless you're gonna tell me where Meggie Jo is or at least how she's doin' get the hell out of my apartment."_

"_It's not Merle he went to get some pills for me said he should be back in about 20 minutes so hold off on the fireworks until he could watch 'em."_

_At the sound of her voice he dropped his razor in the sink and hurried out of the bathroom only to stop dead in his tracks when he saw her. __Her right arm was in a sling, her bottom lip swollen, her eye black, a bandage on her forehead, bruises on her throat and that was just what he could see._

"_Meghan. . . .I'm—"_

_She walked over to him and stopped him with a finger to his lips, "Daryl, I'm in a hell of a lot of pain an' really just wanna take somethin' an' sleep in my own bed for a bit. Can we do this later?"_

_He didn't want to spook her so he very slowly moved his hand up to hers and carefully pulled it away to place a light kiss on her palm, "I didn't think you were gonna come back."_

"_Neither did I and don't know if I'm gonna stay or not."_

"_What changed your mind?"_

"_Merle did. Said I should at least come home an' talk to you so that if I left it would be a clean break for both of us." _

"_Glad he did."_

_As much as he wanted to wrap his arms around her and never let go he forced himself not to so he wouldn't scare her off, he was just happy that she was home. He made sure to hide his disappointment when she pulled her hand away and took a few steps away from him wrapping her arm around her stomach._

"_Looks like you were getting ready to head off to work; I'm gonna go lay down while you finish, ok?"_

"_Are you gonna be home when I get back or are ya gonna get scared an' run? 'Cause if you ain't gonna be here later I'm callin' off, I ain't lettin' you go without a fight, Darlin'."_

"_I can't make any promises, Daryl. Right now, I just wanna take the pills they gave me an' sleep I'll figure out everythin' else out later."_

"_Alright, you want my help getting to bed or anything else? Maybe I could lay down with ya for a little bit."_

"_No."_

"_Meggie Jo, please let me start makin' things right. I don't remember a damn thing that happened, only the bits and pieces Merle told me. Please just tell me what I need to do to fix us."_

_With a sigh she leaned against the counter and winced in pain at the contact, his heart breaking even more by the fact that for the first time in their entire relationship she didn't want him around._

"_I don't know if this is something that can be made right, you promised me no matter what you would never raise a hand against me or our children an' I believed you. When you came home the other night rantin' an' ravin' callin' me a whore an' a slut it was just like my Daddy with my Mama, I was shocked that you would say anything like that but when I smelled the rotgut on your breath it started makin' a bit of sense. But I still couldn't believe that it was comin' from you. _

_When I asked what the hell you meant by everythin' you were sayin' you grabbed me by the throat and slammed me against the wall, I tried beggin' you to stop but your grip just got tighter. I didn't know what to do so I just started sayin' how much I loved you and that this wasn't the real you, that the alcohol was makin' you do this. Somethin' musta got through to you because you suddenly let go an' just stared at me for a little while. I didn't know what was goin' through your head but your eyes were so cold an' full of anger. I'd seen ya with that look in your eyes before but never, ever did I think you'd be usin' it on me._

_I was hopin' to somehow get through to you to get past whatever drunkin' rage you were in by tellin' you about the baby. I took your hand an' put it on my stomach an' told you that we were gonna have a baby that you were gonna be a daddy just like we'd been talkin' about._

_The first punch to the face took me by surprise an' so did the one to my stomach. I fell down to the floor where you started screamin' that it wasn't yours an' I was lyin' about lovin' you that if I loved you I wouldn't be screwin' 'round with Dennis."_

_By this point tears were streaming down her face and she had slid down to the floor, it killed him to see her like this and know that he was the one that caused her this pain. It was taking every ounce of self control he had to just stand there and not grab her up in his arms to hold her close._

"_Darlin', I'm so sorry, I know that ain't gonna make things right but you gotta know that I love you an' didn't mean any of what I said. I was outta my mind on pills and booze an' it's never gonna happen again. I swear I'll never hurt you again."_

_She just started at a point over his shoulder and continued like she didn't even hear him._

"_Everything you an' Merle ever taught me 'bout fightin' went out of my head an' all I could do was just curl up into a ball when you started kickin' me. All I could think was that this wasn't you an' started prayin' to God that you'd come to your senses. After a while you stopped an' I heard the door open, I don't know how long I just lay there after you left just cryin' before I got up. I knew I had get help before you came back so I grabbed the phone an' locked myself in the bathroom to call Merle, if anybody could help me out with you it was gonna be him._

_I couldn't help but wonder what had gotten into you as I was lookin' in the mirror at the black eye that was formin', no matter how drunk you had gotten in the past or how mad you had been you had never raised a hand to me. We had been together so long an' been through so much why would you ever think I could cheat on you? Or that I would even want to? I'd been in love with you since I was 14, damn it!_

_The longer I looked in the mirror the more I wanted to just scream an' rage at you through my tears. How the hell could you do this to me? How the hell could you do this to us and our baby? _

_That's how you found me when you broke open the bathroom door with a bottle of Jack in your hand, you had this crazed look in your eyes that honestly scared the shit out of me. I thought you were going to kill me, Daryl, I really did._

_Then the pains started an' I felt something warm an' wet runnin' down my leg."_

_He couldn't hold himself back anymore from going to her to try and comfort her. Dropping to his knees he grabs her good hand and holds it against his chest while leaning his head against hers._

"_Stop, please just stop talkin', Meggie Jo. We can fix this; I'll do anything you want. Anything you can think of just please, please stop I can't hear the rest."_

"_What? You don't wanna hear how when I was doubled over in pain losin' our baby beggin' you for help you grabbed my arm an' dislocated it? That when I was curled up in the tub bleedin' from where you slammed my head into the mirror you were punchin' the sink hard enough to crack it?_

_You say you'll do anything but can you bring our baby back? Because that's the only thing I can think of that might be able to fix this."_

_Reaching behind her head he tangles his hand in her curls and pulls her close so he can start gently kissing everywhere he could get to on her face. He could taste the hot salty tears every time his lips touched her skin and knew they were mixing with his own, he meant it when he said he'd do anything to make this right. She was the best fucking thing that ever happened to him and he couldn't lose her._

_If she left him she would be taking the best parts of him with her. _

_With each kiss he started begging her not to leave, to stay and they could work things out. Saying how much he loved her and that he would do anything for her, he'd never drink again or take drugs, he'd go into any kind of counseling or therapy that she wanted and all she had to do was stay. _

"_I can't live without you, Meggie Jo. Please, please, __PLEASE__, just give me another chance. I promise nothin' like this will __EVER__ happen again. I don't know what got into me, I love you so much an' know that you ain't ever cheated on me or would want too. You're everything to me, I never woulda got through half the shit I went through growin' up it hadn't been for you. You saved me so many times without knowin' it. When the beatin's got too bad an' I just wanted to give up it was your face that I saw, it was the future that we talked 'bout that kept me goin'."_

_He moved so he was sitting down with his back against the fridge and carefully pulled her onto his lap, tucking her head underneath his chin he continues to hold her hand while playing with the sapphire ring that was there._

"_I knew the night of your first art show for sure that I was gonna marry you so I started savin' up for this. Felt like it took me damn near forever to get the money for the perfect ring an' even longer to get you to say yes. I want to spend the rest of my life with you an' only you, just give me one more chance. Please, give __US__ one more chance before you break my heart by walkin' out that door. I promise that I'll never hit you again. I love you so much."_

"_Daryl, I can't do this now. I need to think an' can't do that right now because of the pain, bein' completely drained mentally an' emotionally. I just wanna take somethin' an' sleep for as long as my body will let me. Hopefully all this will have turned out to be a bad dream an' when I wake up things will be the way they were a few days ago."_

_Without a word he stands up and adjusts her so one arm cradled her shoulders and the other was behind her knees; he carried her to the bedroom and lay her down in their bed. Covering her with a blanket he leans down and kisses her head while trying to ignore the fact she flinches when he makes contact with her skin._

"_Where's Merle with your pills?"_

"_He should be back soon he was just headin' down to that place on the corner to get everything filled."_

"_You ok if I go out an' look for him?_

"_Yeah, I'd prefer to be alone anyways."_

_He was slipping a t-shirt on over his head when he heard the front door open and his brother call out._

"_Angel, I got your pills and bag. Are they stayin' here or goin' back on my bike?"_

"_Tell him they can stay here for now."_

"_Ok, Darlin'. I'll be back in a few with your pills, ok?"_

_She turned her back to him before she spoke again, "Actually can you send Merle in with 'em? I wanna talk to him 'bout somethin'."_

"_Sure."_

_With a heavy heart and glance at her back he leaves the bedroom to talk with his brother with the hope that Merle can talk her out of the choice he knew deep down she had already made._

With one hand he wipes the tears from his face while the other reaches into his pocket to feel for the ring he knew was in there. It gave him an odd sense of hope and comfort to run his fingers over it, almost like that ring held a small part of his girl and as long as he had it with him she was still by his side.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Still don't own it. Again un beta'd so all mistakes are my own, be kind please.**

**Author's note: Bunch of stuff happens here and even though I'm not that happy with the way this turned out I might have a riot on my hands if I don't post something soon, lol.**

* * *

"Meg, we gotta talk and we gotta talk now."

She looked up from the maintenance she was doing on her bow to Adam and simply nodded; it was easier then try to talk around the screws she was holding in her teeth.

"Not here where people can hear us. I'll grab you a gun and we'll take a walk."

He walked away while she spit the screws out and placed them on the table. Whatever it was he wanted to talk to her about must have been important if he didn't wanna risk anyone else in the group hearing it. She stood up and stretches placing her hands on the small of her back to work out some of the tension that was there, it was an almost constant knot from always bending to check the snares and fishing lines that she had set up around their area. It usually liked to join forces with the knot in her left shoulder from using her bow so much as well as the near constant tenderness from rifle kickback. What she wouldn't give for one of Daryl's massages right now, that man had the hands of a god and not just for massages either.

A blush started creeping up her neck as she shut the door on those memories before they could fully surface. Thoughts of him kept popping up in her mind at the oddest times, just the other day she could have swore that she smelled his brand of cigarettes being smoked.

"Man, I would kill for a smoke right now."

"Filthy habit does horrible things to your body. Ready?"

Adam held out the 9mm Desert Eagle she preferred to use most of the time and grinned when she rolled her eyes while she took it. Meghan automatically made sure it was in working order and that it was fully loaded before tucking it back into its holster that also contained an extra clip, attaching it to her belt and strapping it around her thigh she returns his grin with a smirk of her own.

"So would havin' a bottle of Jack to go with it but I'd kill for that too and yeah, I'm ready."

The two of them make their way to the gate where he tells Jason, the guard on duty, that they were going to make a quick circuit of the area around the fence just to make sure everything was fine and that no repairs were needed. He waves them through after telling them to be careful while closing and securing the gate behind them.

They walk for a while in silence keeping an ear out for anything out of the ordinary until they come to the road where Adam motions for her to take a seat on the hood of an abandoned car. She does so and watches him pace in front of her for a few minutes before speaking.

"So what's going on that you couldn't talk back 'round the others?"

"I didn't want anyone to overhear this and get worried."

"Why would they get worried?"

"You're also gonna be pissed. Like maybe pissed enough to take a swing at me."

"What the hell are you going on about?"

"I've been keeping an eye on things over at the prison and something's going on."

Meghan held up her hand up and hopped off the car, she goes around to the passengers to reach in the open window. Adam watches her reach into the glove box and grab a crumpled looking pack of cigarettes; she slips one out before putting them back and moving back to her spot on the hood again. Leaning back against the cracked windshield she lights it with a lighter she had pulled out of her pocket.

"You keep a secret stash?"

She closed her eyes taking a deep drag of the acrid smoke and just held it in her lungs for a moment enjoying the rush of nicotine flooding her system.

"Found a carton in an abandoned car a few months ago when I was out with Chris lookin' for supplies. Figured since I was the only smoker in the group I'd stash a few packs here an' there for emergency situations."

"I thought you quit when you ran out of the last carton you found, didn't I see you wearing those nicotine patches I found you last year?"

"I did an' yes, I was usin' the patches an' they were a big help but since I live everyday not knowin' if I'm gonna die or not I'm not gonna deny myself the occasional smoke. A walker or somethin' else is gonna get me long before lung cancer will, Adam. An' no changin' the subject I told ya I wanted you to leave the folks at the Prison alone so things didn't get riled up. We don't need to get put on their radar, we know about them but they don't know 'bout us an' I'd like to keep it that way."

"Their shoring up defenses and a lot more activity is going down, Meghan only thing missing is them bringing in weapons. I've seen shit like this before, either these people are preparing for an invasion or they are going to war. It also looked like they were recovering from some sort of ambush, there was a truck in the yard that hadn't been there before, a busted fence and there was a shitload more walkers then I had seen before."

He stopped pacing to come over and sit next to her on the hood. He lets his legs hang over the side and watches her place a hand under her head when she moved over to make some room for him. She waits for him to continue as she flicks some ash over the side of the car.

"Either they found out about us and are looking to start something before we can or The Governor decided he wanted the prison. If that's the case these people aren't going to stand a chance against him and his mercenaries, if he takes the prison it's only gonna be a matter of time before he finds us."

"Fuck."

"My thoughts exactly and you know once he finds us he's going to want what we have. We can't stop a full on assault by Woodbury, it would be a complete massacre. I've got no desire to end up under The Governors rule or on display in one of his tanks and I highly doubt you want to repeat your experience with him."

She closed her eyes and mentally counted to ten to try to stop the panic she felt rising in the back of her throat whenever she thought about what happened at the hands of that sadistic bastard before she went through that again she would put a bullet in her brain as well as Allie's. There would be no way in hell Meghan would put either of them through that shit again.

She felt her heart rate speed up and her breath started coming in short uncontrolled gasps while flashes of memory play out behind her eyelids.

_She was thrown down on a table being told that if she wanted to keep her daughter safe she'd do this._

_Sour whiskey scented breath reaching her nose while the ropes binding her to the bed cut into her wrists._

_Her daughter's screams as the walker child advanced on her._

_His knife cutting through her flesh like it was warm butter._

A sharp stinging pain in her arm and a surreal feeling of calm disconnection brings her out of her panic. She opened her eyes and saw Adam standing over her capping a syringe before slipping it back into his jeans pocket, she started to reach out to him and saw that her hand was covered in blood and it hurt like hell.

"It's just a mild sedative so don't freak out I only gave you a low dose to calm you down but not impair you. I'm sorry, Meg I didn't think just mentioning him would start a panic attack since it didn't last time."

"Had a long night, Allie's nightmares were pretty bad so my nerves are a bit frayed right now. What happened to my hand?"

"You punched the windshield and cut yourself pretty good, I'll check it when I'm stitching up those cuts to make sure it's not broken. Why didn't you come get me? I would have helped you out with her."

He started wrapping her hand in a t-shirt that had been on the front seat of the car before continuing.

"Before you say you didn't want to bother me I'm going to say that's bull spit and you know it. I love that little girl like she's my own and would do anything I could for her. And if you didn't want to come to me you could have gone to anyone else and they would have helped in a heartbeat.

We're all family now; blood doesn't make a family anymore. It's about the people that you trust, the ones you would put your life on the line for, and they are the ones that you exhaust yourself hunting for.

Like it or not, Meghan Jackson, you're stuck with me and everyone else like white on rice."

"Why are you carrying sedatives anyway?"

"Same reason I carry painkillers, emergency suture kit, pressure bandages and some pretty strong antibiotics. Never know when you're going to need them."

"Thanks for having my back."

"No big. You got mine and I've got yours, it's kind of our thing now."

"So, what do you want to do about the things goin' on at the prison? The way I see it we have three options: We start packin' up an' find somewhere else; we cross our fingers an' hope for the best or I go talk to these folks. If they are goin' up against Woodbury it's in our best interest to join up with them."

"We do that we're going to war against The Governor and people will die, Meg. Our people will die."

"Our people are dead anyway if he takes out the prison, we ain't far enough away for my likin' if that happens. Everyone will have a choice if they wanna fight or leave but we're getting' way ahead of ourselves here. The first order of business should be talkin' with whoever's in charge there an' see what the hell's goin' on, after we do that we can decide as a group if we leave, stay or fight."

"When do we go?"

"I'm gonna go tomorrow."

Adam crosses his arms and shakes his head, "No way in hell are you going without me."

"We both can't go, if somethin' happens to me I'm gonna need you to take care of Allie an' look after the group. We can't afford to put both of ourselves at risk an' you know it, the group needs a leader that can keep everyone in check an' only the two of us seem to be able to do that."

"Then I'll go and report back to you."

"You suck at barterin' an' negotiation."

"No, I don't. I may not have the same knack for it you do but I'm not that bad at it."

With a sigh she slides off the trunk and grabs another cigarette from the car. Lighting it she motions with her head and starts walking down the middle of the road, it didn't take long for Adam to fall into step next to her. She watches him from the corner of her eye and can't help but chuckle at the way he still held himself like he was marching in his squad.

"What's so funny?"

"You can take the boy outta the army but you can't take the army out of the boy, I guess."

"Come again?"

"You, Army Boy, even after all this time you still fall into step an' stand at attention like its second nature."

"It is. I served for about 10 years before all this shit happened."

"You know none of us really talk about our lives before the outbreak? Where we lived or what we did, it's like those people don't exist anymore."

"Well, you tell me yours and I'll tell you mine."

"What?"

"You tell me about the fabulous life and times of Meghan Jackson and I will tell you the tale of a poor boy from PA who wanted to see the world."

"There's not really that much to tell, I'm a small town country girl from right here in Georgia. My Daddy was a preacher an' my Mama, well let's just be nice an' say she wasn't gonna win any mother of the year contests. I never really got along with Sarah until all this shit started, she was always the golden child an' I was the one who could never do anything right. It was only when the reports about the dead comin' back started airin' on TV did we even start speakin' again before that we hadn't even talked for, musta been 'bout 10 years or so."

"You two always looked pretty close to me."

"Well, the end of the world can be a bonding experience for even the most estranged of families. I'm thinkin' of writin' one of those new age self help books about it, I'll call it something' along the lines of Along Came A Biter: The Essential Guide to Family Bondin' an' Reunification."

Adam laughs and lightly bumps his shoulder against hers; he was enjoying seeing her so relaxed. He knew it was just from the sedative but he enjoyed seeing her laugh and joke around with him just the same. She was always so busy trying to make sure that everyone else was taken care of that she forgot to take care of herself most days, she had the biggest heart out of anyone he had ever met and even though she hadn't wanted to take on the responsibility of leadership she did so without hesitation when it had to be done.

None of them would ever have survived this long if it hadn't been for her and her survival skills. Everyone in that group owed her their lives in one way or another, some because she kept them fed, others because of her compassion and willingness to just listen while he owed her everything.

When he had met up with her he was battling a heroin addiction that he had managed to hide from just about everyone but she had seen right through him. Under the guise of a supply run she had confronted him about his habit and told him in no uncertain terms that she would not have an addict around her family so he had two choices.

He either gets clean or he gets out.

If he chose to leave she would make sure that he had weapons and enough supplies to last him a few weeks.

If he chose to get clean she would help him through it every step of the way.

He tried denying he had a problem, screamed, threatened and even tried to bully her but she just leaned against the wall calmly watching him. Even when he stood nose to nose with her after punching the wall by her head she didn't even blink, just crossed her arms and asked him the one question that would change his life forever.

"Can you bring yourself to trust me?"

To this day he still didn't know why he said yes but there had been so many times in the past couple years that he was grateful he did.

She had gone through the withdrawal and detox symptoms with him every step of the way just like she had said. It hadn't been easy, there had been times those first few months when he would have given anything for a fix but she had been there for that too. She never let him give up even when he'd be begging one minute and calling her names the next, if it wasn't for her he would have died with a needle in his arm a long time ago.

"There's a couple of cars a head I'm gonna check out, maybe we'll get lucky an' find some medicines to restock our supply."

"No more cigarettes if you find them."

He ignored her flipping him off with a grin as she sprinted ahead, he tried to watch out for her the way she watched out for everyone else but most of the time she would have none of it. She had a stubborn independent streak at least a mile wide and it was infuriating at times dealing with it.

Especially when it came time to get her to deal with the things she didn't want to deal with.

Like her sister's death and the fact it was Meghan that had to finish things when they went south. Or trying to get her to talk about what happened with the Governor, he had treated the injuries to her body but she wouldn't let him treat the ones to her mind. The rope burns around her wrists and the tally mark slashes were easy to treat even though they scarred but it was the unseen wounds to her mind and heart that worried him the most. She hadn't been the same since the one handed man had brought her and Allie home, she barely slept and when she did he had a sneaking feeling that it was interrupted by nightmares like her daughters was.

He just wanted to be there to help her shoulder some of the burden she insisted on taking on herself. Let her know that he wanted to be there to fill the void that she insisted on keeping in her heart. To be a father to Allie so he could help raise her to be the type of person this new world of theirs needed.

But most of all he just wanted to take her in his arms and tell her how much he loved her without being rejected because she was still in love with a ghost.

He was so lost in thought that he didn't notice the person coming up behind him until the gun was pressed against the back of his head.

"You make one wrong move and I'll put a bullet in both your skulls."

* * *

Meanwhile deeper in the woods a few miles away-

Merle watched his brother walk away so hurt that he would choose that group at the prison over his own blood that he spoke without thinking.

"If you're so ready to abandon blood it's no wonder Angel never told you about the baby."

"She told me about losin' the baby the day she come home from the hospital an' for you to bring that up you're even more of an asshole then I thought ya were."

"Not talkin' about that one, Baby brother. I'm talkin' 'bout the little girl the two of you made the night you walked out on her, she named her Allison Susanna Dixon after our momma an' her grandmother. Pretty little thing all blond curls like Angel but one look in her eyes an' ya know she's a Dixon."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth Merle wished he could take them back, he had just broken a promise he had made to the second most important person in the world to him all because he was pissed Daryl wanted to go back to the prison.

He really should have been prepared for the punch his brother threw into his gut so it wouldn't have knocked him to the ground. Before he could even catch his breath Daryl was on him punching him in the face yelling and swearing up a storm.

"You fuckin', lyin' piece of shit! Of all the low down dirty tricks ya could use to try an' get back at me, you gotta bring Meggie Jo into it? She loved you an' you pay that back by lyin' about something like that?"

"I ain't lyin'. If ya give me a chance I'll prove it."

Daryl got up and stepped away from his brother trying to control his temper he couldn't wait to see this supposed "proof" he had. He knew his brother could be a royal bastard at times but to lie about him being a father when he knew how much he had wanted to have that with Meggie Jo? That was hitting a new low even for Merle.

Merle watched Daryl stand there with his fists clenched looking like he was about ready to attack him again. With his good hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a well worn photo and took a good look at it, mentally apologizing to the two people in it he hands it out to Daryl.

"Whatca do? Have a fake picture made up in case you ever needed to try an' blackmail me into somethin'?"

"Just take a look at it before you say anythin' else."

He took it and gave it a quick glance before getting ready to throw it back in his brother's face when he froze.

"Oh my God."

"I found out when I stopped by her place to talk to her about somethin' an' she was sittin' on the floor of the bathroom holdin' one of those damn sticks that you piss on. She was freakin' out an' begged me not to tell ya about it. She said that she could handle it an' didn't want you with her just because you had to be."

He staggered a few steps back as his mind and emotions started reeling from the shock of what he saw in that photo. His back hit a tree and he slid down to the ground just staring at it.

"I told her over an' over again that it wouldn't be like that, you'd do right by her an' the baby but you would never be with her just because of it. That you loved her an' that's why you would be with her, also told her you were an idiot for even leavin' her that mornin' at all but that's just my opinion.

She said that what happened between you two that night only happened because you both were so drunk an' that you didn't love her anymore. I told her she was bat shit crazy if she believed that."

"When was this taken?"

"Almost three years ago."

"That makes her about a year or so old in this then. You promised Meggie Jo you wouldn't tell me but did you ever think that I had a right to know about this in all the time that you knew? I'm your brother, Merle an' this is my kid we're talkin' about, I woulda liked to have had the chance to know I was a father before all this shit went down."

"She was freaked out big time, baby brother. Enough to consider either getting rid of it or givin' it up, it was only my promise on our mama's memory that kept Angel from going to a clinic the very next day an' doin' something she'd regret afterwards."

Daryl reached out to trace the curve of Meghan's cheek on the glossy paper, she had straightened her hair for the photo like she always did and he never thought it suited her. He preferred her wild untamable curls to anything else, he loved just running his fingers through them while they sat on the couch watching TV or just burying his face in them when he held her.

"I can't blame her for not wantin' to tell me, I was an ass for leavin' her but I really thought she'd be better off without me. Like, you always said I was never good enough for her an' I guess she knew it too."

"No one is ever gonna be good enough for her in my eyes but it was always you she wanted, she was terrified of endin' up like her parents which is why she never told you about Allie an' by the time she wanted to it was too late. A few days before Atlanta went to hell she called an' said that the two of them were gonna be home an' she wanted to know if I would watch the kid while she talked to you. She asked me if I thought you'd forgive her for not telling you an' if I thought you'd give her another chance."

His eyes travel to the child in the picture and boy was Merle right, she had her Mama's curls but the rest was all Dixon. She had his eyes, same nose, same stubborn tilt to the chin and his smile; even if for some reason he wanted to he couldn't deny she was his.

"Did you know her?"

"A little bit. I wasn't really around her that much for a year since Angel was doing art shows in Boston an' New York but she wrote letters an' sent pictures though. Allie has her mother's sweetness and the Dixon temper, smart as a whip too."

Daryl studies the picture committing every little detail of it to his memory before slipping it into his pocket with his other picture of Meghan. He looks at his brother and gives him a look daring him to say a word about not giving it back.

"Anything else you've been keepin' from me that I should know about? Like, I won the lottery or somthin'?

"Just one thing, little brother, an' I didn't know about it until about six months ago."

"What? I'm an Uncle too?"

"Our girl an' your daughter are alive an' livin' about twenty miles or so away from that prison of yours."


End file.
